My appointment with God

I've gone over this in my mind so many times. I thought I'd gone over all the possibilities, thought I was prepared. Then came the case of the clairvoyant oncologist and the disappearing tumor.
I walked into the office with my posse, hereinafter referred to as my cheering section. Dr. Medical walks in and flips through my chart. "Well, this is very good." Cheering section agrees.
"So, what are you doing for treatment?" asks Dr. Med as he frantically flips through my chart. I tell him I'm doing an alternative protocol. "Are you taking Tamoxifen?" he asks after some more flipping. I tell him no, not anymore. "But you were taking it, right?" I say yes, I was up until about a week ago.
"Well that's what killed the tumor." HUH? But you told me that there was no curative treatment. And this is the really unexpected part: "There isn't. It will come back", comes the response. Cheering section is looking considerably less cheery by now.
Ok, I know there's always one party pooper in the crowd, but this is a bit extreme. But Dr. M isn't done yet. He goes on to tell me that the trouble with us alternative nuts (I paraphrase of course- Dr. M is nothing if not polite) is that we attribute our victories to that treatment and then abandon the conventional treatment that's really doing the job.
I guess I should have realized that my body's lack of Tamoxifen was the real reason for my cancer and now that it was being replaced, I'd be all good. At least until it comes back. Or gives me cervical cancer.
So now that I'm off the Tamoxifen I speculate that any future gains will be attributed to the following, in the order listed:

1.Tamoxifen (Dr. M made sure to inform me that it stays in my body for 2 months)
2.Being in the same room with Tamoxifen
3.Sharing a straw with someone taking Tamoxifen
4.Living within 50 miles of a drugstore selling Tamoxifen

Gosh, with such a wonder drug out there, it's surprising that we have so many people dying of cancer, don't you think?
And even more amazing, since Dr. M is apparently God, he can now be sure who's tumors will come back!
What a joyous day in the War against Cancer!